September Is Suicide Prevention & Awareness Month
September is an important month, not only for me, but for everyone who carries a story. It’s Suicide Prevention Month: a time to fight the stigma around mental health and suicide, to have the difficult conversations many avoid, and to listen to others with compassion. This month is about supporting the people in our lives, learning from mistakes. Along with honoring those who have struggled, persevered, or those we have lost. All of that matters. You matter.
Trigger warning: This post discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts, and hospitalization. Please take care while reading.
Disclaimer: I’m not a professional, just someone sharing my lived experience. Please reach out to a licensed provider for professional help.
Why September Is Important to Me..
This month is important to me because I have a story about why suicide prevention matters. I’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve felt my life wasn’t worth living — worthless, hopeless, and confused. My heart, mind, and body ached from those awful thoughts, and for a time ending my life felt like the only option. I’m sharing because this topic is vulnerable, and many others aren't able to share. If you’ve felt this way, you are not alone.
My story; My Rock Bottom
My most vulnerable rock-bottom moment happened when I was 19. On the outside I was a typical college student juggling school, work, and relationships. Inside, I felt like I was dying. I struggled with unmedicated depression and anxiety and had undiagnosed OCD. Those conditions, mixed with everyday pressures: money, classes, and shifting relationships: life became unbearable.
I remember sitting and considering ending my life, begging for an answer to why I felt so “messed up.” My partner had never experienced mental illness, and I felt extremely alone. I chose to try another day and carried the burden into the next morning. Eventually I asked for professional help. Asking felt terrifying and vulnerable, but it was necessary. Persistent suicidal thoughts led to hospitalization.
Asking for Help & Hospitalization
My stay in a psychiatric unit saved my life, but it was difficult. Everyone’s experience with inpatient care is different; mine left me shaken. It broke me in places, terrified me in others, and at times made me feel like I was just a number. Even so, it was a turning point: I received a diagnosis, started medication, and gained resources and support I otherwise wouldn’t have had.
Healing...
Hospitalization was the first step of my healing journey. Next came integration — rebuilding a stable routine, learning how to manage medication and therapy, and establishing supports. That integration failed many times before it worked. The first year was especially hard: medication changes, therapy, and strained relationships made each day a challenge. But those messy, imperfect steps built the path to where I am now.
Healing wasn’t simple, and it’s not over yet — but I am doing much better. If I had given up, I wouldn’t have gotten to see where I am today.
What I Would Have Missed
If I had given up, I wouldn’t have gotten to see where I am now. I am back in school, progressing toward my degree so I can help individuals who struggle like me. I have a job I enjoy, I’ve traveled and met new people. I created this blog to speak my voice. Most importantly, I am engaged! These are things I never would have imagined at my lowest. I’m grateful every day that I’m here to experience them.
Check on Your Friends & Family
Even people who seem to have a “happy face” can be hurting the most. Checking on friends and family doesn’t have to be complicated, the smallest things mean the most:
- Ask, “How are you doing?"
- Invite them to do something together.
- Send a small, thoughtful message or gift.
A simple message or call can be the reason someone feels like a someone.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If some part of what I’ve described resonates with you — the ache of feeling worthless, hopeless, or confused. I see you. Your feelings are valid. You matter. Take a moment after reading this to check in with yourself. Feel what you’re feeling and be gentle with it. You are enough.
Closing Reflection & Affirmation
Healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, so go easy on yourself. Just because it seems like I have it together, doesn’t mean I’m still not struggling. I have tools, resources, a support. Ultimately, if my story can make even one person feel less alone, then my goal is accomplished.
Affirmation: Your survival is proof of your strength.
Let's Keep Goins Together
If this post resonated with you, I want you to know you’re not alone in this journey. Healing takes time, support, and community—and that's exactly what I hope to offer through this blog.
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Keep Goins. 🦋